My family and friends often comment about how lucky our children are to have us. OK. I certainly won't turn down the acclimation and the support. God knows we need it. And yeah, I know there are worse parents out there.
Yet, I can't help but wish I felt this public image was more of my daily reality.
Because the times when I feel like a competent parent doing everything I can - Those times feel like the minority.
Most of the time, I am exhausted, emotionally and physically. I look at my son, stimming, in his own world. I know I should be doing what I can to provide structure, interaction - Help to pull him more into an interactive and learning world.
But it seems too much, too hard, especially when those periodic negative surprises come up to hit you in the face. I become paralyzed - In a funk. I rely too much on the television. Or I simply leave the kids to their own devices, at a loss of what to do or say to help, only intervening during behavioral problems, or to implement the usual scheduled routine.