"JACOB....IS.....TRYING....TO.....PEE....ON....ME!!!!!!"  I am jolted by this announcement as I stand over the stove trying to make popcorn for a special treat.  I run into the bathroom to see Elizabeth sitting on the toilet, and Jacob standing beside the toilet pee streaming down his leg, toilet and floor.  I look at Elizabeth with tears in her eyes.  "Jacob- lets go upstairs and use the potty," I say as I am pulling him away from the toilet.  "No!" he says back.  "Jacob, we either need to go upstairs and use the potty or you need to wait for Elizabeth to be done."  "Wait for Elizabeth...." his voice trails off.  He tries to release himself from my grip so he can finish peeing ....while Elizabeth is still sitting on the toilet.  I hold him back.  He is getting angry.  Elizabeth quickly finishes.  "Go ahead Jacob....I am done."  She doesn't hold a grudge.  Jacob finishes peeing.  I cup his eyes so that he can not look away.  "Jacob you can not pee while your sister is on the potty.  You need to wait, or use the other potty.  It is not acceptable to pee while Elizabeth is on the potty."  He escapes from me and runs into the living room.  I walk into the kitchen to see Elizabeth, and finish my popcorn.  "You okay?  You know he doesn't mean it right?" She had already forgot about the incident.  She says "I know he doesn't mean it.  Is the popcorn done?"  We are now just listening to the popcorn pop.  Elizabeth is dancing to the pops.  Jacob walks into the kitchen.  "Can I have popcorn please."  I tell him it will just be a minute.  He hears the popcorn popping, and starts jumping and flapping.  He flaps on Elizabeth....directly in the eye.  Her eyes well up with fresh tears.  I hug her to me.  "Are you okay?"  Her little body is clinging tight to mine as the sounds of the popping continue as well as Jacob jumpin  read more »

Hello everyone! I am excited to say that for a very early birthday present (one month early) we got McKay a dog! Her name is Jersey. She is a Jack Russell/Border Collie mix, and she is very good with the kids. Her owners had her for about a year and they didn't have time for her anymore. They gave her to us for free. McKay has been grinning ear to ear and this is the happiest I have seen him in a long time. He is outside 24/7, and Jersey follows him around everywhere. He wanted to go outside so bad this morning, and he wouldn't eat breakfast. I told him once he ate, he could go outside to play with the dog, and he did! He has been helping me feed her and take care of her (he is even pretending to be a dog by drinking out of her dog dish...oh boy...) She has been a lot of fun and I can tell that she is helping McKay. :) He goes around all day saying her name (sounds more like 'g'g...but close enough to understand...)

Hello everyone,

I hope this is the appropriate space to post this. I am an indistrial design student in my final year. For my thesis I am looking at designing a product that will assist in autism ABA therapy (sit-down therapy). I am looking to get feedback from parents and caregivers about the kinds of workarounds they have while doing therapy at home and the kinds of frustrations you run into. For example, trouble keeping the child focused, the most effective types of rewards you use to keep the child interested (lights, trains, toys, etc). Also, if there are any products on the market that you really enjoy (games, special furniture, etc).

I have already spoken with a couple of ABA therapists but I was hoping to get some feedback from parents. At this point, I do not have an actual product in mind. But I am most interested in how to keep the child focused, and stimulated so that the therapy is productive and easier on the therapist/caregiver. I am also interested in hearing about how you track behaviour while juggling the many tasks. Any feedback would be very helpful to me. I know that therapy can be very long and arduous and different for every child. So, if I am able to help in any way to reduce this strain and increase the child's motivation to learn I will have met my goal.

Thanks for your time!

Janet

Just a quick note I am back on line and connected again. Because of  Ike most of the city and surrounding counties have been with out power for over a week now  We got power back yesterday and I feel as if I have gone from the Flintstones to the Jetsons in just one day.  I just wanted to send my prayers to those of you who are still recovering from Ike. I could not have made it through this past week if my son had been with us and for the first time I was so grateful he was 2 1/2 hours away. It was very stressful for us but for my son it would have been a total disaster Here in Kentucky we had wind damage and some are still without power. We were lucky we just lost all our food. Food can be replaced but homes and lives can not.  Change is so very hard for kids and for those who are still in the process of recovery my prayers and heart are with you all.

Hello! I work with Rethink Autism, and thought families on this site would be interested:

We are seeking children ages 4-12 with a diagnosis of autism, autism spectrum disorders, PDD-NOS, or an overall global developmental delay for participation in the development of a video-based program. In exchange for their participation, chosen candidates will receive free educational/behavioral intervention conducted by trained professionals based on the methodology of Applied Behavior Analysis. The intervention sessions will be filmed in a way so as not to distract the participating children.

Please respond if your child might benefit from this program. All information will be kept strictly confidential.

Families in the tri-state area are encouraged to apply. Filming will occur in Manhattan.

Interested parties should contact us at (646) 238-7798 or at info@rethinkautism.com or you may contact Dr. Ilana K. Friedland directly at ilana@rethinkautism.com or (917) 703-9948.

I have a sister who lives in Eugene OR.  She is looking for a pediatrician for her twin boys who may be supportive of her decision to delay immunizations.  Can anyone help me?

"HE.  CAN'T.  TALK.  BACK!!!!" These words were being screamed at me by Elizabeth (3yrs old) regarding her 5 year old brother Jacob.  The two of them were in the bath tub, and Elizabeth desperately wanted the pink duck that Jacob was clutching.  I had suggested that instead of asking me for the pink duck Elizabeth should ask her brother directly.  She had shot me a look that could have killed, and went on to mumble to him that she wanted that duck.  Jacob was not responding to her at all, and we were well past the point of mild frustration for Elizabeth.  I sympathized with her feelings.  She was after all only three years old.  I am nearly twenty eight years old and no where near understanding the complexity of ASD.  I knew that however frustrating this situation may be for Elizabethand Jacob that I needed to pursue it....to see it through.  We needed to work on communication between the two children.  I had been the go between for the children for almost a year now.  Anytime that  Elizabeth wanted something that Jacob had she always asked me.  The times that Elizabeth had something that Jacob wanted he either grabbed it from her hands or asked/told me.  I needed the children to start a dialogue.  I looked at Elizabeth and said in my calmest most assured voice, "He can talk.  He may not be able to find his words as quickly as you or I, but we love him very much and so we will be patient and understanding."  I swung Jacob around so he was facing Elizabeth.  I tilted his chin up so that his face was so close to hers.  I said " Come on Liz let's try again." Her eyes were welled up with tears at this point, and her face displayed a look that was certainly not optimistic.  "Can I have pink duck please."  No response.  "Use his name please.  Say Jacob can I have pink duck please."  She breathes in.  "Jacob can I have pink duck please.  Jacob can I have pink duck PLEASE."  Ja  read more »

"Our daugher is two and a half.  She is lively and energetic.  Our son is four, and he is on the spectrum...." the father stated letting his voice trail away.  I was sitting at an interview with a potential new family.  The mother and father were seated around me now waiting for my response.  We had communicated over the course of several days via email about their children, and my possible employment.  They had of course told me a bit about the children.  Their ages, interests and dislikes had all been shared with me.  The fact that their son was Autistic had not been stated until now.  I had worked as a nanny for four families prior to this time.  I had taken care of many children.  I did not have any experience with Autism.  My first thought was "can I handle this?" I knew little about Autism. 

It is now one year later.  Elizabeth and Jacob are now one year older.  I am now one year wiser.   I have become part of a new community.  A community of parents, caregivers, teachers, and children who all care about and are affected by Autism.  As I have watched Jacob grow over this past year I have become his biggest cheerleader.  Each time he greets me when I pick him up from school my heart aches with pride.  When he independently drew a cow instead of just writing numbers over and over again I wanted to shout from the rooftops.  When he mocked me as I started to ask him to please not climb on the bookshelves I could not have been any happier. This is a battle and we are winning I want to tell him!!! His victorys may seem small but they are so big! Everyday is a new opportunity for us to grow and learn.  Everyday is a chance to make progress.  This is a fight, and we will not be defeated for Jacob is a champion! 

Wow.  My son just turned FOUR on the 30th of July.   I'm thankful to say that he celebrated his birthday with his new classmates at the daycare I found for him.  It's amazing how God works (and how the human mind sometimes fails to).  This daycare is literally two minutes from my house on the grounds of the elementary school that Rowan will undoubtedly be attending when he starts kindergarten.  It's a little pricey but the faculty is sooo great that the quality of care makes up for the price.  I've prayed and prayed and prayed already knowing that God will make a way for me to afford $700 a month for daycare and still live comfortably.  As usual, He's delivered (and QUICK TOO).  As a member of the Army, I qualify for military fee assistance which is going to knock a whole $200 off a month.  I think of the emotional rollercoaster I've been on for the last month, searching for daycare, trying to get Rowan adjusted to living back in Maryland and I realize that it was just a test of my faith.  I woke up at 3 am today and watched Rowan sleep.  I reflected on the horror that was my pregnancy, the long stays in the hospital, the MORNING,NOON and NIGHT sickness, the fear of being induced at seven months, and all the things that he and I went through up until this point.  All those problems and obstacles seemed like giants at the time but in retrospect, they seem so microscopic now.  I know now more than ever that there isn't anything God CAN'T do, including allow my son to lead a productive life, despite the fact that he has autism.  People always say, "Rowan is so fortunate to have you as his mother."  In all actuality, I'm the fortunate one. 

My name is Mark. I am the father of a 10 yr old autistic son named Matthew. I have recently been forced to leave my job because I was having to take of so much from work for Matthew. We live in a very small town and resources here are limited as far as special needs childcare. I have decided my best option is to either find somewhere that will let me work from home, or come up with some sort of home based business. I have tried or looked into the offers you see on the net, tv, and radio, and for the most part they are scams or want you to put up "start up" money that sounds fishy to me. Surely I am not the only parent in this situation so I was curious if anyone had any advise or ideas that might help me.

My son was diagnosed with Autism two years ago while I was stationed in Germany.  The treatment he received there exceeded anything I could have every hoped for.  The daycare was great, his OT was awesome and I couldn't have asked for more.  We arrived here in Maryland at the beginning of this year.  I am so frustrated with the lack of services I am receiving here.  It got to the point where I had to send my son to Texas to stay with my mother for three months because the child care provider who assured me she could work with him lied.  Her idea of working with him was restraining him in a high chair (which was way too small for him).  I was able to locate another provider, did extensive research on the facility and had a spot for him.  I discussed all of my sons "issues" with the director and she assured me that they would be able to work with him.   So I phoned my mother to say that I would be flying out to Texas to bring my son back.  I went into the facility yesterday to turn in the paperwork and all of a sudden....she's not so sure that their facility would be good for him.  I'm BLOWN away.  Not even two weeks ago we had discussed him attending and she was fine with it.  Now she's reneging.  I've never been so frustrated in my life.

 Thanks for the comments. We have had staff bring Chris home. They have funding for transportation 3 times a year and we have visited him twice this summer. It just seems the more we visit the more difficult it becomes for him when there is a change at his group home. He just seems to loose it when he has a great deal of change typical  autistic behavior . The guys at his group home have more ability and parents closer to the home. He calls every evening and we are working on another visit next month and bring him home for a week. It seems every time he comes home for a visit we have to deal with the adjustment back to the group home. It seems sometimes as if the more we visit the harder it is for him.

I just received a phone call from one of my son's respite workers that our son Chris is having a difficult time. He is in a group home 2 1/2 hours away. He has three other house mates that live in the group home. As it turns out all three of theses guys are able to leave the house on weekends which leaves Chris alone with staff. He really does what to be home with us and does not understand that because of gas prices we are unable to visit or bring him home for a visit as often as we would all like. Some of the staff understand and try to get him out with activities while others just sit at home with him. He loves hardware stores and that is one of the rewards that he gets if he has good behavior. Since this change with room mates  his behavior has escalated and now he is stuck in the house. I feel very sorry for our son and have tried to communicate with staff that they are setting him up to fail. Chris gets very bored and that is when things get out of control. It is just so hard to parent from such a distance. We would like to get him closer to home. The group home is not the issue but the day program. Chris went through 5 day programs here and sorry to say his history followed him and people just wouldn't accept him. To parents some times people see stuff on paper about our kids and that follows them forever.

Thanks so much for the responses. Before I became a Mom of a special needs child, I worked for about 10 years for our local Parks and Recreation. We ran trainings for special needs kids and adults for Special Olympics. We would spend weeks putting the kids in age groups and then in heats depending on their abilities so that the groups would be fair and well matched. The state meets gave kids the opportunity to have a trip away from home. I guess some things have changed but I started Chris when he was about 6.

I also have a physical disability myself and I went to a summer camp for kids with special needs. The camp sessions we divided into groups of kids with physical disabilities and then those with more mental disabilities on different times of the summer. I went to school with "normal" kids so being with others like myself was very important. I went for two weeks every summer, made life long friends, got my first paid job there and met my husband of 34 years. Had it not been for my connection with my disabled peers I would have never felt equal. I went on to get my Masters in Social work and my biggest and greatest accomplishment was becoming Christopher Mom. I agree with mainstreaming kids as long as it treats our kids with respect and dignity and makes them feel a part of the group. When Chris was 10 we moved him to a special needs school. Mainstreaming just did not work for him.  It was the best move we made for us and our son. It was very important that our son have success. Most of the teachers he had before we moved him had little or no special education training. He had a aide and he spent most of his time on the side lines. He spent two years with limited goals on his IEP. I do not care if he can tie his shoes, thank God for Velcro.   read more »