I feel as tho I have been gone somewhere for quite a while although I have been at home. Maybe that is it. I am stuck at home and to add insult to injury, my motherboard was bad. Everything seems to be getting set to right this week for which I am glad. I had the surgery and my oldest sister, bless her, helped out for 2 days. Considering that she is not totally used to the boys I think she did remarkably well. My children were very good. I was recovering really well despite Issac wanting to jump on my belly and blow on it, until I pulled a muscle in my back on the right side. This means that I cannot tell it the pain is my now gone gallbladder or my back, ugh! I had a couple of days where I was wondering if I was going to be moving the next minute. It was very painful. I couldn't take the pain meds they gave me because I broke out in hives. I was really having a time of it. But my motherboard arrived yesterday and it works and I installed it and I can reach the world again. I really missed my computer. My back and my abdomen are feeling better so I feel like things are looking up. Yippee! I took Seth and Mallie to the eye dr with me and Seth does not need glasses and Mallie does. She was pretty disappointed. They told her that she didn't need to wear them all the time so maybe we can work out a deal.

I found out this week that the teacher in the classroom with the twins is not allowing the twins to go outside and play. The weather here has been so nice and so I thru a hissy. I mean, WTH? She was concerned that they would run off. Are you kidding me? You have two kids, two adults. What is the problem? Needless to say I called the classroom supervisor and she was unaware that the boys were not going out. She said they would go out today and every day it was not bad out.  I am tempted to sit outside the school and find out. Is that wrong?  read more »

My ex is a jerk. I know I don't have to explain that to all of those people out there who are divorced. I mean, you got divorced for a reason, right? He came and picked the kids up today 30 minutes later than he promised them. They had been up for 2 hours waiting on him. I think they were relieved that he actually showed up. Issac did not want to get in the car with him. He hasn't showed that kind of reluctance for a while now, not since their father was with his second wife. I don't think the twins were comfortable with her at all. Anyway, they are finally on their way. He is going to take them to a hotel and stay all night and bring them home tomorrow.

I am going to have surgery to remove my gallbladder this coming tues. I asked him about being here with the kids or taking them for the weekend if I could schedule the surgery for a Friday and he told me that he would have to explain why he was coming back down here from Chicago so soon. (I had told him the surgery would be in about 1-2 wks.) and then he said he would have to not tell his parents because they would have a huge cow because he would be helping me. I had two words for him and they were not the normal ones I have. They were "grow up." So, because once again I could not depend on him, I had to make other arrangements for the kids to be helped while I am recovering the first couple of days after surgery. Lucky for me, I have a generous big sister.   read more »

Well, school has been in session for a little over two weeks and we are settling back into a routine. Issac is going to bed earlier, like 11:30 instead of 2am, so that is wonderful. I think it might have something to do with getting up at 6:30 in the morning. Maybe. Maybe it is the change of having to get up at 6:30. Anyway, it is more settled. I could take a nap while the kids are gone to school, but so far every day has been running one direction or another to get everything into the new routine. I am hoping everything gets more settled next week.

The kids father is supposed to pick the kids up this weekend which will give me my first weekend alone in a month. That will be ok. We will have to see how it goes. The twins are getting more and more verbal the more he is away from them. That was kind of surprising, but to see if the change is occuring because of him, I have to let him see them and see if their vocabulary goes back down. Frustrating!

The carhart mattress covers are still working wonderfully. I am thinking about asking about pillowcases. Issac likes to take all the stuffing out of a regular pillow, but I am thinking if I do the same thing with the pillows that I did with the mattress. I think it will work.

Issac is still trying to tear all the limbs off of the persimmon tree. He ended up with some new bruises and bumbs from falling off the chair, ladder, and slide he was hauling around trying to get up in the tree with. 

Thane and Issac are fighting over the computer terribly at home. They do not fight over it at school, go figure. I haven't figured out the solution to that on yet. I will have to think on it.

I got a note from school yesterday that said that Issac was adjusting wonderfully to the new schedule and school. I am going yippee! That's wonderful, but what they are really sayin is that Issac hasn't had a meltdown and he is complying with all the requests they have made of him. The next sentence is very amusing... is says Thane is adjusting just not as fast. I interpret this to mean that he is laying on the floor refusing to do anything and generally causing problems left and right. Well, I did warn them.

 The twins were supposed to be dismissed yesterday (according to the information I was given) at 1:05. I don't know why when the school itself doesn't let out until 1:50, but that is what they told me. So I am expecting the boys around 2, no boys. They finally got home and the driver told me that the boys were getting out at 1:35. Now I am really confused. Exactly when are they actually getting out? I am calling the school and the classroom supervisor, neither of which returned my calls yesterday so I am calling my district again. Ah, got him, he says he is going on what they are telling him and so far it is confusing to him also. Now I and calling the special educations supervisor and I finally got her and she says she doesn't know why he thinks that and she will call him and get it straightened out. So, I will have to see what straigtened out means. She is supposed to call me back and let me know here in a few minutes.

I hate administrator speak. I really would prefer that they tell me straight out what is going. Instead of oh, he is having trouble adjusting. it is really, he doesn't want to do what we need him to do.... blah, blah, blah.... please people treat me like I have a brain!

Hopefully this will all be straigtened out by the end of the week.

School started today. I miss them and am relieved to be in the quiet house alone. I have running to do today so I won't be here long, but for now, I am appreciating it.

Thane's hand is no longer swollen and he is starting to use it. I am very glad about that. Issac is back on the clonazepam and is no longer crying himself to sleep. Also, no more meltdowns. He went to bed last night at 11:30 and got up for school just fine at 6:35. He seems to be doing better. I have a huge mess to go clean up in his room, but other than that, he's good. 

I got the second mattress cover from the seamstress and seeing as how the fabric was not dyed, I decided to dye it. HA! It shrunk, it barely fits over the mattress now. But I have both mattresses covered and Issac is no longer destroying them so I am happy. He has only torn up one sheet in the last week. But he has torn up 2 shirts and 3 pairs of shorts. I am hitting the clothing give aways today. The school has asked me to send 2 sets of clothing to school for him and Thane and I really don't have them. So, off I am to get them. If I do not find them today I will go again tomorrow. I also have to buy new tennis shoes for Mallie. Issac keeps eating her flip flops and her shoes from last year do not fit. She can rip up a pair of shoes faster than the boys, she is real rough on them. 

The seamstress is supposed to have Issac's blanket finished by tomorrow, but I am going to stop by today and check because I am going thru there today. We will see. I was looking for a spread blanket to back it, but was unable to find one. Every place I checked wanted me to buy 12 at a time. What am I supposed to do with them all? Also, most places only sell to hospitals and nursing homes. I finally found a nursing home whose supplier is sending out a sample blanket. Yippee! I am stopping by there today too, to find out if it got here.  read more »

The dr that takes care of my kids decided that Issac should no longer be on clonazepam. He thot that it was keeping him awake at night and taking him off of it and putting him on clonidin would help. If he had given me a sheet on what the drug was used for I would have told him in no uncertain terms why this would NOT work for Issac. And it isn't. In all fairness, I have had Issac on it this week. Last week, taking Issac off of clonazepam at a half dose was hard too. He was really aggressive and was having a meltdown almost every day at least once. He was down to less than one a month before.  Warning sign, right? But I am thinking maybe once I start the clonidin that he will calm back down. Well, we started it and Issac went to sleep at 11:30 and the next night 12 and it continued like that until last night. Last night he attacked Thane and was crying. I went in to remove Thane and he attacked me. Issac has not done that in a LONG time. It really freaked me out. It was about 1:30 in the morning. I gave him a blanket and turned off all the lights so he would stay in his room. He got up around 3:45 and came into my room. He wanted to sleep with Thane but as Thane was an the loveseat their really wasn't room. I pushed the couch over so that the seats of the loveseat and couch were together and he laid down and went to sleep. I had called the dr yesterday. He just called back this morning and he said to put Issac back on the clonazepam and he would try to come up with something else to help him get to sleep. I also asked him about Thane's arm while I had him on the phone and he said if he was still favoring it sunday to make an appointment on monday.  read more »

This week has not went well so far and it is only tuesday..... I am hoping the rest of the week goes better.

Thane and Issac were arguing over the computer sunday and Thane fell backwards and landed on his right hand or wrist. He acted like it hurt and I fussed over him a bit and watched him on sunday. I didn't notice him favoring it or anything that didn't seem more serious than a bruise. Yesterday however, he was really favoring it. He was being extremely careful putting his shirt on and he wouldn't use the hand to pick up his cup or anything. His right hand is his dominant hand and he hits the table, etc during the day. Yesterday was a stomp day. I decided, after examining it and seeing that it was swollen, to take him to the ER. They xrayed it and said it looked like a sprain, but they would have a radiologist look at it this morning and forward any concerns to Thane's pediatrician.Yippee! So, I took him back home with the sling they gave me for him. He took it off almost as soon as I put it on. I gave him tylenol and he took that. He seems a little better this morning, but I am hoping for a big improvement by next week as that is when school starts and I know they are really wanting to push the boys this year.  read more »

I was so thrilled with Kool Smiles 2 yrs ago when we ended up in their office. They were friendly, they didn't cancel my appointment and not tell me. The boys liked them and the staff seemed able to handle them. I had spent about 4 yrs looking for a dentist in my area and had given up and went to them. They are in another state and about 2 hours away. I compromised and it seemed to work well. No x rays were taken initially and the staff assured me that they could work around it.  Well, today was not a good day. Issac was wonderful. He sat still relatively and he let them take xrays today. Great! No problems with his teeth and we were ready for Thane. I knew it was going to be rough with him as he had started crying the moment we pulled in the parking lot. He cried all thru Issac's visit and xrays. Yippee!  read more »

I know that I do not live with another adult and that I have limited contact with other adults, but most of the time I do not miss it. I guess I am usually so busy that I am not worried about it. But now, with the kids being with their father, I miss other people. I am not and never have been a social butterfly, so I  have a limited circle of people that I talk to. Some are very specialized people, compartmentalized maybe is the word I am looking for. You know, they are people who are only in my life because I have twins, or I have autistic children or I have a girl or I have a teenage son, blah, blah, blah. I have very few people in my life who are there because I am who I am. I just don't have a lot of me left at the end of the day, maybe? Have I done this to myself intentionally or is it an accident of my life? I mean, did life just shove everything out that was not paramount to survival? or did I just get lazy? Something that crosses my mind occasionally, I guess.

The twins birthday was yesterday and they are 11. I know they are getting old enough that a lot of the specialists in my area are ignoring them. They want to treat the 2 and 3 yr olds that are just being diagnosed. My sons they will try to slip thru the cracks. I wonder if it is because they just don't know what to do with them. Do they run out of ideas when they get older? My beautiful, beautiful boys. I remember they were so small when they were born. They were decent sized for twins, but when you are holding a baby no heavier than a sack of flour, they seem awful small. They are no longer that small, but they are still so sweet to me. Thane was walking around the other day and he was saying "Im a baaaaad boy" and he looks it, but he can be so gentle and loving. His little sister was walking around telling him he was a good boy. Issac sat and tore up tiles off his floor. What a birthday.  read more »

Issac is still destroying stuff, it just seems to be stuff that is a little easier to replace. He tore up his boxers and two shirts and then when he went to bed he tore a  blanket into strips. I am running out of blankets. I am also wondering why the seamstress has not finished the blanket I asked her to make.... She has had all of the materials for about 7-8 wks. How long does it take to sew them together? I have made plans to pick up the material for Thane's mattress cover next week. Then I can relax at night, not have to worry about Issac tearing up mattresses and what have you. I may have to have her make Thane a blanket too.

Seth has been so helpful keeping an eye on the boys while I am picking berries, never mind that I am within calling distance, it is the fact that he is willing to do it. Blackberries are slowing down here. The cooler weather and no rain is keeping them red. But it stormed here night before last and knocked a tree down in the back. It is supposed to warm up too so all them red berries may turn ruby black all at once. 

The twins birthday is this week. They will turn 11. Hard to believe it has been that long. I don't feel that old. They seemed so small when they were born. And now look at them, strapping lads. How long before they start eating me out of house and home? Not much longer before they are teenagers. 

The kids' father has said he will meet me in Springfield, where I take Issac to get his allergy shots, to pick them up and take them to his place for a week. I will believe it when I see it. I am thinking of all the stuff I can get done while they are gone, and how much I am going to miss them. I will miss them alot.