Wyatt had an EKG today.  I thought that we would have to go to a children's hospital way down in the city, but it turns out that our regular pediatrician does them right in his office.  The EKG was ordered by the psychiatrist who wants to prescribe an off-label blood pressure medication, Tanoflex, to calm Wyatt down.  That means, Wyatt doesn't have a blood pressure problem but the medication will be prescribed for a use other than what the manufacturer created it for.

When I had an EKG, they hooked up electrodes to me and made me walk on a treadmill.  For Wyatt, they wanted him to lie down quietly on an examination table.  The nurse didn't tell me all of that, she just asked me to get Wyatt onto the table.  We did that and we were able to put all of the stickers and electrode clips (about a dozen of them) onto Wyatt's chest and legs.  He didn't thrash around like I expected.  He was just up on his knees crying his eyes out and his lower lip was quivering in fear.  One of the ABA therapists was able to come to the appointment with me and she held one of Wyatt's hands and I held the other.  The therapist, the nurse, and I all sang/counted to a hundred a few times, which calmed Wyatt down quite a bit to the point that he stopped crying.  The nurse had said that the EKG machine would be big and loud, but I couldn't even tell that it was on because of the noise Wyatt was making.  It was basically just a printer placed onto a rolling cart, so it wasn't even all that big, but the exam rooms are tiny.  read more »

Happy first day/week of back-to-school for many of our kids!  Good Luck with the change in routine and with coming up with creative lunch ideas and getting everyone out the door on time.

May the teachers, staff, and peers be kind and supportive,

may the activities and studies be a joy,

may our children learn and grow.

Yesterday we went to the child psychiatrist. She wants to put Wyatt on an off-label blood pressure medication like Clonidine, but it's called Tanoflex (or something like that). I asked for the patch, but she was strongly pushing for us to try pulverizing the pills and hiding them in Wyatt's food. The psychiatrist likes the off-label blood pressure meds because they have a calming effect on many kids with autism. And she said they also use these same medications for treating tics (spasms that are caused by taking certain medications for a long time).

But before we can start Wyatt on the blood pressure meds, we have to schedule him for an EKG. That is to make sure he doesn't have any underlying heart trouble. So I had to call the regular pediatrician to see if they can schedule an EKG at a Children's Hospital, where they have experience administering such a test to a special needs child. I had an EKG last year at a local hospital and I cannot imagine that my 4 yr old son would cooperate in the same situation. Anyway, I am just grateful that we don't have to have any blood work done. Wyatt has never had blood drawn before. I imagine it would be a horrible experience for everyone involved.

I had asked the psychiatrist about a drug called Nalprexone that has no side effects other than sedation which is used in calming children with autism. The psychiatrist said that she does not prescribe that drug in her practice pretty much because she doesn't feel that it is commonly prescribed. I heard about that drug in a Medical Management of Autism seminar at Stanford, so I was surprised that our psychiatrist would say NO. She went on to say that Nalprexone is typically used to treat addiction problems. She made it sound like that drug is only given to homeless druggies, so why in the world would I want to try it out on my kid? Well, when you put it that way...

Yesterday Wyatt had a seemingly irrational tantrum and shattered our downstairs window by putting his hand through it. I was standing right there next to him, blocking the window with my body, but Wyatt's hand shot out to the side and struck the window just right. He was only wearing his diaper, but amazingly only got one tiny cut on his forehead. The window down there is about 2' x 4', an unfortunately non-standard size and hopefully not too expensive (or a pain in the butt) to replace. Ha!

He had been tantrumming for about 45 minutes and I was doing the "ignore" strategy. 45 minutes is his record for tantrums. Wyatt wanted to go back in Daddy's car and be driven around all day and possibly be taken out for french fries. Either that, or he hoped he would be driven to day camp like last week. Last week my husband dropped Wyatt off in the mornings and I picked him up afternoons. Another theory we have is that Wyatt is used to being driven into our one-car garage. We don't park Daddy's car in the gargage. It could be one of those theories that set Wyatt off, or maybe just the fact that sometimes Wyatt gets really agitated in Daddy's car and often has tantrums because he doesn't want to get out of the car. We decided that maybe we should make a rule that Wyatt never get into Daddy's car unless on the return trip we go in Mommy's car.  read more »

We went to a wedding. Actually, we observed my cousin's wedding from our car. We were assured that child care would be provided and that the fact that Wyatt has autism would be no problem.

We drove up to a little tucked away country club garden, beautiful in the late afternoon light. Since it was a Bhuddist-Jewish wedding, it was kind of colorful, with exquisite paper lanterns and men in orange robes or yalmukes, and ladies in their finest. Soothing, yet hip music was playing in the backround. Of course, Wyatt started screaming immediately, so we rolled up the windows so no one could hear him. He wanted out of the car so he could terrorize those lanterns.

We parked the car and Marc came back with the distressing news that the child care was not in a separate area, but rather just at a small table off to the side right where they were just about to have the ceremony. The staff was a lady in a very fancy purple dress and two 12 yr old girls. The childs' supper was Dominoes pizza, and Wyatt doesn't like pizza. He was hungry. I should have brought him some snacks, but we were rushed to get ready and we were late getting there. It was about an hour long drive.

So we left. I hope my family will understand that I didn't want to ruin their wedding. There was no way Wyatt could have been managed and contained at that wedding. And I was not about to run around after Wyatt sweating and aplogizing and having people give me horrified looks.  It was simply not an appropriate setting for Wyatt.

Still, I did get to hover near the celebration and see the festivities. I felt like a ghost. A ghost wearing pantyhose, which I haven't worn for YEARS, and brand-new fancy shoes for the occasion. I do hope my family appreciates that I at least made the effort.

Wa hoo!  Wyatt got to ride 'em.  They said he was a little intimidated at first, but he had a great time.  Right when I walked through the door to pick Wyatt up today, a worker whom I hadn't met before ran up to me and exclaimed, "I LOVE YOUR SON!"  So, he must've been soooo cute riding that horse.

Gotta pick my mom up tonight at the airport.  She'll be here until the end of next week.  This morning I gave my kitchen a lot of attention, vacuumed a bunch, and washed the guest linens.  That way it looks like I'm not desperately hoping that my mom will whip herself up into a cleaning frenzy and scour my house from top to bottom.  Even though I am desperately hoping that very thing. 

Wyatt didn't get to go bowling yesterday, after all.  Only the older/higher functioning kids got to go.  I thought that was really crummy.  And sort of insulting.  Wyatt did get to go walk along the pier, but he wanted to go run in the waves and they wouldn't let him.  So we took him to the beach and let him run in the sand when Marc got home.

Tomorrow and Thursday is the equestrian program.  They told me to make sure Wyatt brings his sneakers, so I'm assuming they are actually going to let Wyatt get near a horse.

Woo hoo! Wyatt is at his first day of "day camp" today. Thank God they made an exception and took him even though he isn't 5 yet. Today's schedule includes bowling which is something we thought he might like but would never do with him by ourselves (unless he's sedated). Apparently, for special needs kids, the bowling alley puts in special bumpers down the lane gutters (I hope I have the terminology right because I've only bowled once in my life) so that you knock down pins no matter how badly you bowl. The reason why I didn't want to expend the energy to take Wyatt bowling is because I was afraid he would run into the lanes and get hurt.  And also bug other bowlers.  But if he's with a group and the bowling alley is shut down for exclusive use for special needs kids then that is a whole nother kettle of fish.

So today I am trying to clean up around the house using Cindy's 15 minute rule. Gotta go work on the laundry for 15 minutes.

It was especially toasty and humid here today.  I tried to stay out at the pool for as long as possible, but Wyatt got bored. 

We came home and Wyatt managed to get into several bottles of shampoo, lotion, and make-up by snaking his hands underneath some cabinet doors with not-so-effective plastic safety locks on them.  It only takes a few minutes for him to squeeze an entire bottle of shampoo into a bowl and start spreading it across the counter with a toothbrush.  Still, I'm very happy (pathetically proud) that he put the goo into a bowl and not all over the carpet.  Anyway, sad to say, this scenario happened twice today.  I didn't put the lotions far enough back into the cupboards and maybe his arms are longer than I thought.

After that, he did his usual thing where he fills up the kitchen sink with water and takes every single piece of flatware, plasticware, and measuring spoon/cups and throws them into the sink.  In an unusual twist, he varied his routine by then attempting to sit in the sink.  I think he knew that his bulk would displace the water in a satisfyingly splashy overflow.  But before he could complete his scientific experiment, I put a halt to it.

When my husband got home, Wyatt indicated that he wanted a bath!  Wyatt hasn't willingly wanted anything to do with a bathtub for months and months.  So my husband gave him a nice long bubble bath. 

We asked our health insurance company for a letter that said they did not provide diapers or "incontinece products" for our son.  They sent us that letter.  And they also sent us this almost identical letter which arrived on the same day:

Dear Member:

Thank you for your inquiry. 

Benefits for this condition:  Austism

are not covered  under your health coverage.  Please refer to your Benefit Agreement for the specific exclusions.

Had a playdate at a new play structure indoor playground that costs $9 per kid (sibling discounts though) but I had a free pass. Wyatt really liked the play structure, but then one of my friend's kids somehow wangled a balloon and then Wyatt had a meltdown because he wanted a balloon. It took a long time to calm him down. The play structure owners didn't want to give Wyatt a balloon because the policy is that you get a balloon or prize when you leave. My friend's kid took his balloon all through the play structure and no one said anything. But then Wyatt took his balloons in and the owners were all upset about it and said it was dangerous and I had to get him out of there. Then they gave me trouble when Wyatt went in the toddler section even though he wasn't bothering anyone.  And of course they had a water dispenser and Wyatt used up all of their paper cups and had water dripping all over the cement floor.  Lovely!  At least he didn't grab any of the packages of cookies and chips that were right there on the counter within kids' reaches.

Then there was a birthday party and, of course, tons of balloons which totally set Wyatt off.  I had to work hard to keep Wyatt out of the party room, which of course did not have a door on it. 

So, even though the play structure place says it is autism friendly (the owners have an autistic child) and they even hired an adult greeter who has autism, it seemed as though Wyatt was "too autistic" for their play structure. I explained to the owner lady that Wyatt is only 4 yrs old but looks older. After that, the lady seemed a little nicer to me and seemed to warm up. She told me I had a tough job [as Wyatt's mom].  read more »

Last week my best buddy from my college days came down from Oregon to visit me.  She showed off her 5 month-old baby boy, her first baby.  Although she also has a delightful stepson who is in middle school.   Anyway, she is in baby mode, a totally adoring mommy.  She was making a list of pros and cons for having another baby.

It shocked me how different our lists were, with her leaning toward having another baby and me having decided, "NO, definitely NOT."  My list pretty much consisted of fear of having another special needs child.  I feel that one is almost more than we can handle.  My friend's list was all "Pro-I want another baby, Con-lotta people in the world already, Pro-Got  some baby gear already, Con-Pregnancy sucks."  Her list seemed so happy, so naive, so carefree.  I wish I could feel that way again.

On a happier note, she hadn't gotten a crib yet AND she was driving a van back to Oregon.  It was cosmic meant-to-be FATE, that she, my soul-friend, ended up with Wyatt's crib and baby backpack.  It made me unbelievably happy to be able to give her that crib.  Having decided not to have another baby, I had just started getting rid of Wyatt's old things, and had given his bassinet away to a stranger just the week before.  

Today I had two friends and their kids over for pool time, but at two different time sots in the day due to scheduling conflicts.  We've been meaning to have a "pool party" for forever but it just never happened.  We thought that was sort of sad, me and my two buds that I've known for years and years.

It is a bit of work to get the towels, swimsuits (cozzies to you, Perz), shoes, sunscreen, toys, totes, and changes of clothing together.  Then, there is anxiety at the pool ("No!  I don't want to go in!), plus the need for safety vigilance ("DO NOT THROW THAT CHAIR INTO THE POOL!") and constant positive attention ("Great kicking!  That's fantastic splashing!").  And then, getting three children prepped to leave the pool with one skinny one shivering from near hypothermia, one chunky one throwing a tantrum and refusing to leave, and the third one dawdling at the showers and asking 100 distracting questions ("Who owns the pool?  Does she own the pool?  Does he own the pool?  Can I walk on the pool cover?  Can I touch the pool cover with my toe?  Can I go back in the spa?  Why is he rolling around on the cement?")

We're going to give the "pool party" another go next week, but on two different days.  It's too bad me and my two old buddies can't all get together on the same day/time, but maybe it is a blessing in disguise.  It might be too much mayhem with two toddlers, three pre-schoolers, and a six yr old. 

My friends and I each have one son on the autism spectrum.  Do you think that's more than a coincidence?  If at least 1 in 94 boys now has autism, then isn't it odd that everyone in my closest circle of friends has a child on the spectrum?  I mean, shouldn't only 1 in 94 friends have a son with autism? 

Wyatt slept the WHOLE night in his own room the other night!  Woo hoo!

We're going beach camping up in Ventura county.  We've never gone camping there before, so it should be an experience.   See you in a couple of days!