I have no clue as to why I would put myself through the torture again, but I sat down with the reports and evaluations on Michael, and it seems so depressing, listing what he cannot do. I tire of having to explain to people Michael cannot do this, or does not understand that. Something hit me today. Why not sit down and talk about what he CAN do.
- He goes to bed well and sleeps through the night.
- He can pick out a movie on his own that he wants to watch.
- He gives the sweetest hugs and kisses.
- He behaves for a 6 hour car ride.
- He loves amusement park rides.
- He rides the bus to and from school without problems.
- He can go pee on his own.
- He is not greedy, and appreciates getting something small.
- I can trust him in the tub alone.
- He does not act violently towards other kids.
- He likes to help me do laundry.
- He is learning new signs (language) and using them.
- I do not have to fight with him to brush his teeth.
- I can trust him not to mess with electrical outlets.
- He can dance.
Exactly! Exactly! I deal
Exactly! Exactly! I deal with Little Miss at home each day, thinking what great strides she's made and how independent she's getting--and then we have a meeting at school and it's like Oh well she's a grade level behind, and she can't be mainstreamed and.... It's so disheartening sometimes!!
Aw, I'll bet he is a cutie.
Aw, I'll bet he is a cutie. I've been working on a similar list. Here's the first item on it: Even though he’s four and a half, we can still get away with hugging and kissing him and saying things to him like, “Cutie wootie bootie schmootie!”
Something that you posted earlier about autism in Iowa falling under an MR waiver didn't sound fair to me. I'm not a professional, but it doesn't sound as though your son is MR. When the school evaluated our son, they scored him low. We were advised by a lawyer to get a second psycho-educational opinion. That professional said that our son is not mentally retarded but does have autism. They are not automatically the same thing. But schools often score children in the MR range because then they are not required to come up with very high goals. (They are basically saying "Why bother teaching them when they don't have the capacity to learn?")
I wanted to share this in my own blog entry but I really want to tell you right now what the school psychologist said to me on the day of our 1st IEP, when I was crying and begging the school for more than 12 hours per week of services: "You are lucky to even get this 12 hours because 20 years ago they would have taken a kid like yours and just stuck him in a building out beyond the football field."
We have been fighting low goals since Day 1. If certain things are not taught to our children then how in the world are the supposed to have these skills? It makes we want to scream when the school comes up with goals that Wyatt learns how to do in literally 3 minutes, like snip paper with scissors.
The lawyer calls it the IKEA model of education: When you drop your kid off at an IKEA child care center (which I never have because he isn't potty trained), you expect your child to be alive when you come to pick him up.
I know what you mean about reading those reports though. They are really depressing but you gotta focus on how far he has come and his potential to go the distance.
Something else: My friend who has twins (one typical and one ASD) said that her typical child scored low on the same tests. I think these days they expect typical kids to know all of their Kindergarten skills before the first day of school. I think they expect more of them than they did of us back in the day. And I think the reason is because they are cramming two and three times as many kids into a classroom. When they do that, chaos ensues and kids can't learn as well in that type of environment. Therefore, parents are told that it is their responsibility to make sure their kids have all these skills prior to actually "learning" them at school.
I am so sorry that things
I am so sorry that things are going so poorly with Wyatt. Iowa is pretty good with Education Plans and such. My stepmother lives in California and she had an IEP for my youngest brother because he stopped speaking. But she is a type of woman who will not bend to the rules if she thinks they are not EVERYTHING needed. I know alot of parents have had to get a lawyer to make sure the Disability Act involving Autism is followed.
I should be getting the phsychological evaluation done soon. Once I get the waiver, I can apply for respite care, and then start the SSI application.
Thanks! It sounds like
Thanks! It sounds like you've really got your ducks in a row, and have done your research. Sorry if I went off on a tangent. I really liked your list.
Actually, we've got a good program in place for Wyatt (would just like better goals). I just feel a lot of negative emotion when I start thinking about "the system." Did your brother start speaking again? How old is he now?
P.S. We met with an advocate the other day who was Miss Pork 1975 or something like that in Benton IA. She stopped eating meat so people teased her and gave her tons of pig stuff, so she had lots of it in her office, stuffed flying pigs, etc.
I floy off on many tangents.
I floy off on many tangents. Some are tear infested, others laced with deep anger.
I am sure in a matter of time I will be resentful over the limitations of the system as well. I am still just getting a taste of it. Michael started seeing a Practioner Nurse Aug 2007, went through speech and occupational therapy to Jan 2008 started preschool Feb 2008. And he was diagnosed the end of this Feb. But with so many people working with him and all evaluating, then videos and profiles sent to Susan Baker who is the head of Autism stuff for Iowa, I was lucky to get a quick diagnosis.
My brother stopped babbling at 15 months and was 3 before he was using words again. He was sent to a special school in a town I think outside Antioch until they main streamed him in 1st grade. He is a sophomore now, and you would never know he used to be mute. Now that I actually think about it, I wonder if perhaps he would have fit on the ASD spectrum. Obviously a higher functioning level. But back then they said no he was not Autistic yet never gave a diagnosis.
My mother collects pigs. Well she used to. Now she has turned into a super fan to a country singer and does not really care anymore.
I'm so amazed by the fact
I'm so amazed by the fact that there is one person in charge of all things Autism for Iowa. She reviews not only profiles but views video footage of each and every case? That is SO COOL. It really says you are not dealing with a faceless beauraucratic (I can never spell that word) machine but a real person. She even has a down-to-earth name.
That is SO interesting about your brother. Well, there are some pretty amazing cases out there. My friend's son had been labeled ASD but he has made so much progress that a prominent clinical forensic psychologist has told them that their son may have been misdiagnosed. Another Ph.d person told me that 2 per cent of all diagnosed cases of Autism are "outgrown" and just go away. A friend's brother had so many ear infections as a child that he couldn't hear and had significant speech delays. Even though he can now hear, to this day when he speaks it is with an accent similar to a deaf person.
I know what you mean about the pig collection. For my mom it was teapots. But then when my Dad died I think the collection of teapots made her sad. Then she got remarried and moved around a lot so got rid of most of the pots rather than pay a lot to have them moved around and probably broken.
I do not know if she does
I do not know if she does every case, but in my county, there are no doctors that oversee cases like that. Here they send you to the Child Specialty Clinic where a very capable Nurse Practitioner oversees things. You can be sent to her for growth behavior and development issues. She can refer you to CAMPS therapy which is the physical occupational and speech. She also helped me get hooked up with the Area Education Agency which helps all kids with special cases join school. So I am sure in other areas of Iowa, things are not sent to Iowa City for evaluation.