I apologize if my title is misleading.  Today, I'm not talking about what autism costs all of us in general.  I know the costs associated with evaluations and interventions can be staggering.

Today, I am going to drill down and be a bit more specific.  

You see, I have an 11-yr-old son with Asperger's Syndrome.  We have known this for six years, so I'm no newbie.  But we still find ourselves struggling daily to manage his challenging behaviors.

I can handle the eccentricities.  I find them very endearing.  But what has and continues to be a major problem is the behavior.  At the slightest provocation, he lashes out and becomes extremely aggressive.  In the last month alone he has destroyed some pretty significant things, including a laptop of mine, countless Transformer toys, one door, three TV remotes and several walls.   The cost alone is getting to us.  Not to mention the toll its taken on his three siblings and us. 

Right now, we have intensive in-home care providing us with counseling, interventions and general hands-on help.  We've employed just about every technique in the book.   We have an OT come to the house, we've done checklists, schedules, penny jars, CBT, RDI...the list goes on and on.

Two main problems get in the way.  One, his fuse is so short that episodes can go from 0 to 60 in a matter of seconds.  There is no time to defuse a situation, even when we know his triggers.  The funny thing is, once he lashes out he can usually process the event in question by himself.

The second issue is getting his buy-in.  He's learned a million and one coping strategies, but will not use them.  Tools to help him at school are "dumb."  He rips up schedules at the very suggestion of using them.  He won't comply with any sort of sensory diet.  His resistance is huge.  We have tried all sorts of incentives and rewards, but thus far nothing has worked.   

So today, I'm putting this out there to all of you.  Have any of you been through this?  What has worked and what hasn't?  

Help!