Explaining Death

Posted December 29th, 2008 by shootingstars

I killed the remaining fish today. I got tired of the dirty water so I decided to change it out. I guess One just could not handle being chased with the net for 20 minutes and then poured from a bowl to a pitcher then to the tank. He started floating immediately. So I fished him back out and into the bowl hoping maybe it was the water temp, but nope, One is dead. I feel terrible. But the tank was nasty.

So tomorrow Ma and Michael are going to pick out new fish. But in the mean time I have been trying to explain to him about dying. I took the Heaven approach, but Michael does not understand things unless he can see them. For an example Santa he met and watch the Tim Allen movies for a month so he understood that concept. But he knows the fish is not in Heaven because the body is here. I feel terrible, I just do not know how to explain it.

Thank goodness it was only a fish and not a dog or other pet that he really could have bonded with.

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Michael still remembers his

On January 1st, 2009 shootingstars says:

Michael still remembers his other fish was sick. Ma took him to Walmart to pick out some, and since she promised him she went ahead and did it, but the tanks were dirty. They were dying before we could even get them to the tank. She had to take them back and then went up to the Walmart a half hour north of here for fish.

One of them is named Duck. No idea where he got that from but he insists one is named Duck. But he is not always naming the same one Duck.

Maybe you could just say the

On December 29th, 2008 WyattsMom says:

Maybe you could just say the fish is broken and can't be fixed.

Well, he already asked me to

On December 29th, 2008 shootingstars says:

Well, he already asked me to fix the fish. And he seems to think glue or especially tape will fix anything. I do not know why but Michael likes to sleep with whatever paper thing he made at school and if it has a tiny little tear, and I mean tiny, he makes me tape it up.

I asked one of the tutor's

On January 1st, 2009 WyattsMom says:

I asked one of the tutor's what she would do in that situation. She said "Sorry, fish cannot be fixed. Sorry! This fish is broken, can't fix it." I guess that is the lesson. Sometimes things cannot be fixed. Death is definitely one of those things. I remember hearing a story about a man whose wife was cremated. He put her remains in an urn and took the urn everywhere with him, even strapping the urn into the passenger seat with a seatbelt, etc. After about five years he finally realized his wife really was gone.

Just thought of something--what about when people eat fish? Those fish can't be fixed. They definitely aren't coming back. Some fish are for pets and some fish are for eating. Maybe you could explore those concepts with Michael. Some fish come from the pet store and some fish come from the grocery store, already broken. If a fish breaks, it can't get to the doctor in time to be fixed. So if your fish breaks, you just have to get a new one.