High School for my Autistic Son + the rocky road (NOT the ice cream flavor)

JohnPaul is 14, and will finish lower school this June.  He will move on next year to High School, although we don't know whch one.  He has come up thru the ranks of our autism program, which starts in a wonderful preschool autism class ( really it's more like boot camp for the autistic kiddy set, not warm and fuzzy at all), then goes to a middle school (5th and 6th grade), then another middle school which is 7th and 8th grade.  Each school has a self-contained autism class, and each class has a 3 grade span.  There is an excellent ratio of teachers and aides, and generally there is a speech therapist in each autism classroom.  Always the ratio is 3 to 1 (kids to adults), and at times it gets as good as 2 to 1, and even 1 to one. 

Primary school has been such a good ride that JohnPaul does not want it to end.

Not only does he NOT want to grow up, but he does not like to transition.  When there were measurements taken for caps and gowns for the big graduation day, he got angry.  Any mention of the "G" word (graduation) is a slap in the face and an invitation to fight, for him.  So I finally wrote a social story, some thing along the lines of -

"Everyone graduates.  In June, all the 8th graders at JP Case School will be ALL DONE with 8th grade.  They will not go back to JP Case School.  Some will go to High School in Flemington, some will go to high school in Somerset, and some will go to high school in Branchburg.  This is OK.  All the 8th graders worked very hard to finish 8th grade.  Their parents are very happy that they are all done with 8th grade.  Their teachers are happy too."  etc etc

This all seemed to calm him down, so we have not had any upsets lately.  He is also going to join special olympics for track, becuse he has these beautifully long legs and he loves to run.  My policy is - Wear Them Out!!  The kid likes swimming, great!  Let him swim until he's knocked out.  He likes to play soccer?  Fine!  Let him chase and kick that ball till the cows come home.   He's a runner?  Put him on a track and let him go crazy running. 

Anyway, the high school that will receive him would like to keep him, even though their special ed program is spare.  The 2 nearby private special ed schools have fully-established vocational programs, job training, and comprehensive recreation...they have clubs, sports, and even have dances and a prom for disabled kids!!!  So we have to find a way to make a case for JohnPaul to be sent out to a private school, because it will better meet his needs.  This really creates knots in my innards...I get so tense and anxious, and emotional!  when we meet with these folks (who don't even know my son, by the way, but they are making decisions that will shape his entire life), and I tend to want to scream/cry/faint, and sweat some blood too, but instead I remain calm and professional (I hope to God).  I think that we will meet again with his team, to continue our discussion about where we see his needs being met, vs where they want him to go...within the next 2 weeks.  I have had lots of faith in our public schools so far.  I hope that my beliefs are not dashed when we meet again for his IEP.