Hi All!
I'm new here. I have been dealing with all this stuff for the past 11 years. My oldest is 13 now and he fully came to live with his Dad and I when he was 2. Prior to that he was living with his bio-mom. So there are alot of questions that can't be answered because she has disappeared. Anyway, I also have a 10 year old boy-Austyn, and a 5 year old girl-Lilly. They have no problems. My oldest Josh is the one with ODD, PDD, ADHD and anger management issues etc..... It seems like our whole family life circles around Josh. But when we try to do stuff as a whole family all goes to hell in a handbasket. A part of me feels like a failure because the younger two are in the midst of all this and its not fair to them. As for Josh, between him getting kicked out of school and then every special school except one, and being on probation, and him involving children and youth services every time I turn around and him being placed in different places outside of our home, I am losing my mind! Anyone else ever deal with this kind of thing? The system keeps taking him away and putting him in residental treatment facilities. This is the second time. What have you done to deal and what have you done to prevent this? I feel at a loss because everytime I turn around the system is usurping our parental rights and taking over. What am I doing wrong? How can I fix this? Please help. Just please don't judge me for being in this position. I love my children with all my heart.
How can we judge you without
How can we judge you without first casting stones at ourselves. Everybody sees our children throwing fits and make horrid comments or think about us needing to beat our child or control them... In truth we do all we can without abusing them. Sometimes our best is not enough, all we can do is love.
I wish I could pull an answer out of a hat for you. Unfortunately sometimes being a parent hurts. About all I can do is offer some prayers for strength and welcome you to our little community. I am rather new myself, I just like to blog a little more than the average person.
Ditto what shootingstars
Ditto what shootingstars said :)
Even though I don't have any real idea what you are going through, my heart goes out to you. If I'm reading you correctly, it sounds like Dad is Josh's biological Dad? So Josh is not a foster child? But this sounds like the kind of situation that would happen to foster parents more often than in other families, so foster parent online groups might also be able to offer you a cyber cup of tea and sympathy and maybe some advice, too.
Have you talked with a lawyer? Have the powers-that-be who have removed Josh offered any set of guidelines for this not happening again? Have they said when Josh will be allowed to come home? Do they want you to medicate Josh? How is Josh doing being away from home? How is he being treated? Is he close to home? Are you allowed to see him? How is the rest of the family taking this? I can completely see how this situation could be so hard, so I can just say again, our hearts and prayers are with you.