You know, I wonder if our therapy supervisors lose respect for us after a while because they're always asking us what our problems are and what we need help with. Maybe we make ourselves seem stupid and vulnerable. Maybe after a while, the professional problem-solvers go a little crazy after they present us with well-thought-out plans and we say, "Nah, that didn't work" or "Oh, I know it's been three months, but I haven't gotten around to buying that $40 egg timer you recommended."
Today I had a meeting with my case worker at the county agency. I told her that I have a huge network of parent-friend-mentors that I turn to daily for ideas and support. I asked for a DECREASE in program hours. Wyatt will still get to see my favorite therapists, but for shorter sessions. Basically, the case worker and I came to the conclusion that I pretty much know what to do or can figure out what to do. (I just need to do it). Therefore my need for this particular county funded program we're enrolled in is coming to its natural end.
It does seem weird to ask for fewer hours when I've spent so much energy fighting for the opposite. But, I think we really are graduating.
I think I can handle taking Wyatt to his favorite grocery store, the park, and McDonald's without any help.
I think I can take Wyatt through the potty hand-washing routine.
I know how to trick Wyatt into putting on his clothes with minimal assistance.
I know a couple of ways to get Wyatt to try new foods.
I have a few good ideas on what to do if Wyatt won't go to bed or take a bath.
We know how PECS work. We know how visual schedules work. We know how to work on Stop and Go. And so on. And life skills go on.
I think the rejection of
I think the rejection of some ideas by parents should be viewed by most professional therapists as "just a regular part of the job." One's that take it too personally probably won't last long before they burn themselves out or become so confrontational with their clients that all forward progress stops. As parents we all know how difficult things can get and how that can affect us emotionally. Of course, this affects professionals who work with our children the same way; however, it does not let them off the hook for being professionals. Resorting to intimidation (threat of future negatives actions) to get a specific form of discipline enforced by the parents in the home is not, in my opinion, very professional behavior.
By definition, professional experts are expected to have an expansive "bag of tricks" to call from - so it follows that they should be able to offer you a variety of alternatives and be able to explain the "scienfiic" theory that supports each method. If a parent is still uncomfortable after such explanations have been provided by the professional, the professional should respect the parent's beliefs and come up with a different suggestion. I think that parents should never feel "bullied" into doing things to their children that they are truly uncomfortable with.
On a cautionary note, there are cases where sleep issues are a "battle of wills" and in these cases, sometimes all the parent needs to do is "get a little tougher"/more insistent and reassert their authority. Locking the child in the room in these cases can work; however, the child usually gives in rather quickly (as soon as they are convinced that the parent is serious about ignoring them). Sensory issues present as more persistent problems - the tantrums are longer, often stronger and more intense. The child is as frustrated as the parent because they themselves are as mystified about what the issue is as the parent. The "battle of wills" that may seem to happen on the surface is un-win-able, because the "foe" is the sensory issue, not the child or the parent. If I found myself up against a real brick wall with my son, that was then the problem usually had a strong sensory component to it.
I have sense throughout this discussion, Nicole, that you don't think that Wyatt is just being willful in this case, but that something sensory is involved and I tend to agree with you. This problem has persisted for far too long to just be that Wyatt doesn't want to go to sleep. I think he does desperately want sleep, has found a place (the car) where he can get some sleep, and is objecting to being removed from that environment. I hope you can find "what it is about the car" that makes it easier for him to sleep and can bring that sensation into his room. The poor little guy really needs a good night's rest (and so do you).