Thanks so much for the responses. Before I became a Mom of a special needs child, I worked for about 10 years for our local Parks and Recreation. We ran trainings for special needs kids and adults for Special Olympics. We would spend weeks putting the kids in age groups and then in heats depending on their abilities so that the groups would be fair and well matched. The state meets gave kids the opportunity to have a trip away from home. I guess some things have changed but I started Chris when he was about 6.
I also have a physical disability myself and I went to a summer camp for kids with special needs. The camp sessions we divided into groups of kids with physical disabilities and then those with more mental disabilities on different times of the summer. I went to school with "normal" kids so being with others like myself was very important. I went for two weeks every summer, made life long friends, got my first paid job there and met my husband of 34 years. Had it not been for my connection with my disabled peers I would have never felt equal. I went on to get my Masters in Social work and my biggest and greatest accomplishment was becoming Christopher Mom. I agree with mainstreaming kids as long as it treats our kids with respect and dignity and makes them feel a part of the group. When Chris was 10 we moved him to a special needs school. Mainstreaming just did not work for him. It was the best move we made for us and our son. It was very important that our son have success. Most of the teachers he had before we moved him had little or no special education training. He had a aide and he spent most of his time on the side lines. He spent two years with limited goals on his IEP. I do not care if he can tie his shoes, thank God for Velcro.
I wanted my son to learn to control behavior and enjoy school. He loved his teachers and really enjoyed school. He had teachers who were trained in special education and they really liked him. After we moved him we no longer got calls at our work to come pick him up because of his behavior. They were trained to deal with it. All kids are different but for our son this worked well.
Wow, that was such a helpful
Wow, that was such a helpful insight. Yesterday one of my case supervisors suggested sending Wyatt to a YMCA summer program because, she said, the Y will provide a 1:1 aide for special needs kids to be included.
I said I would rather have my son not be the "odd man out" but rather be part of a group of kids who all have a 1:1 aide, doing activities designed for their enjoyment. I want him to have fun at a summer camp, not just be tolerated and dragged along only to sit on the side lines and/or have other children (and their parents) ask what is "wrong" with my son.
As time goes by and I see
As time goes by and I see more and more how shabbily my son's high school "friends" continue to treat him, I start to believe more and more that the mainstream school system has very little to offer our children of any lasting value and increasingly wish that I would have been able to access a special needs school for him. As it is, he really has no fond memories of his school experience and we, as a family, continue to struggle to overcome the wall of isolation the community as built up around us.