Hi everyone! Here's a hello and a little about me and Zachary:

When my son Zachary was born, he was the third boy and clearly different. Club foot, colic, esotropia, were the 1st apparent issues. Oh, yea his APGAR score was 2.

Still, I looked at each one of these diagnoses as 'problems to solve' and like most parents began tackling what interventions would best treat Zachary. As we seemed to be making progress with these issues my gut was tearing away at me. It was clear Zachary was not happy. He was in fact acting like his environment was constantly provoking him into hysteria, which he had no ability to control or come down from.

I began experimenting with environmental controls, and finally after months of trial and error I discovered that a low light, 66 degrees, organic cotton diaper and organic cotton blanket swaddled with soft classical music, very low was his happy spot.

We spent a considerable amount of time in this cocoon. I breast fed Zachary here, had his brother come in his room rather than him leave it for interaction. The range of what Zachary could tolerate in this environment improved greatly and for the first time since he was born, he could relax and trust.

I leapt on this foundation of trust. Without language and highly sensitive, I needed Zachary to trust that if he was with me, he was fine. Thank goodness for the mild California climate, it gave me courage to take Zachary out in 'just a onezie’! So we began, venture after venture, within the house, out of the house, in the car, stretching Zachary’s tolerance of his environment. One day when Zachary wasn't doing well at one of his brother's baseball games, a friend asked me why I didn't go home.

I realized, that I like all parents of autistic children must find what our children are able to do, willing to do if we are to be happy. I couldn't explain it at the time--but I can now, that autism isn't something that has to control your life. Years of stretching Zachary's boundaries, find more of what he could do than couldn't has lead to me the conclusion that he isn't nearly as limited as I thought he was.

They said he wouldn't speak--he now can in about 7-10 word sentences

He hated touching just about everything--now he loves water, cooking and the beach

He hated anything new--now he loves to travel-plane, train, car, and he’s game

I know every child is different, I also know every parent has an intuitive sense of who their child is and how to help them. When all the 'experts' wanted to focus on skills we focused on fun--being happy and learning through play. I have my Ph.D. in developmental psychology, and the experts marginalized me because I was the mom. I can only imagine how hard it is for anyone who can't lean into credentials. But in the end, mom or dad--it's the only credential’s that matters.

Today Zachary is 18-he is at a wonderful private school and he is thriving. I know too well how many times autism had me operating in survive mode, and I am so grateful for the ability to follow my guidance and do for him, what needed to be done, even when I couldn't explain it clearly to others.